“He who binds to himself a joy
Doth the winged life destroy.
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity’s sunrise.” ~ 
William Blake
One particularly painful compulsion in personal relationships is clutching at our partner or friends for security. When we grasp at another person, the real tragedy is that we cease to see that person; in our insecurity, he or she becomes merely an object for propping ourselves up. This is an open invitation to jealousy because we see him or her as a character in our drama, not in anyone else’s. Finally the relationship may be broken. People may move from one relationship to another, always grasping and always missing what they are looking for.
Real love is the result of a great deal of effort over a long period of time. It is developed through trust and loyalty and patience, learning not to say a harsh word
or even show disrespect when we are provoked. Over many years this kind of love can grow to such an extent that those you love will know you’re incapable of hurting them. Imagine the security this brings, both to you and to them. Your trust and loyalty can be anchored so deep that you never even have a divisive thought.
Eknath Easwaran