The cornerstone of successful relationships involves the cultivation of personal qualities and traits that promote physical and emotional well-being. We can all promote growth in these qualities by engaging in practices that support their development.

We’re offering eight examples of these qualities along with some suggested practices that can strengthen them. There are of course others, but this is a good starter kit to give you a sense of what it may feel like to “do your own work.”

  1. Mindfulness
  • Show up for what’s happening in the present moment.
  • Practice self-reflection by bringing an accepting non-judging awareness to your physical, mental, and emotional experience.
  • If you often find yourself feeling rushed, slow down rather than speeding up.
  • Spend more time in solitude and less time chasing after more experiences.
  1. Courage
  •  Courage is not the absence of fear, it’s the willingness to take responsible and effective actions even in the face of fear.
  •  Practice responsible risk-taking.
  •  Set and respectively enforce personal boundary
  •  Create or join a network of committed support.
  1. Commitment 
  • Persist in the face of obstacles.
  • Build and restore trust in your relationships.
  • Keep your agreements.
  • Close the back door of your escape hatch.
  • Enlist others to support you in your commitments.
  1. Responsibility
  • Chose to see difficulties as challenges and opportunities.
  • Give up the victim mentality.
  • Cultivate self-acceptance rather than seeking approval from others.
  • Chose impeccability rather than perfectionism.
  1. Integrity
  •  Identify you core values and live in accordance with them.
  •  Walk your talk. Make sure your words and actions line up.
  • Acknowledge, accept, and honor yourself, including disowned, denied, or rejected aspects of your personality.
  • Practice accountability by acknowledging your contribution to both positive and negative outcomes of your actions.
  • Make only agreements you are committed to keeping.
  1. Patience
  • View all delays and obstacles as opportunities to cultivate patience.
  • Practice mindfulness when things fail to go according to plan.
  1. Attentiveness
  • Give your full attention to the person with whom you are communicating.
  • Withhold advice unless it is solicited.
  • Listen with an intention to understand rather than preparing your response.
  1. Generosity
  • Give things away.
  • Give your time, attention, and assistance as well as things.
  • Focus more on the words of others rather than getting others to hear your words.
  • Give without expectation of return.
  • Live in accordance with the principles of enlightened self-interest.

Feel free to add more qualities and/or practices to this list. Customize it to what you see as your growing edge. Keep in mind that doing your work is a labor of love and not an obligation The motivation to do it often arises out of awareness that doing so benefits me as well as all of those with whom I am in relationship. It’s the ultimate win/win game!


See the original blog on Nicole Pyles blog site Lady Unemployed!